Learn something from Amy Winehouse's downfall

Amy Winehouse, the soul diva, who, on the brink of stardom, died from a mix of alcohol, drugs, and bulimia, hit it big with a song ironically named "Rehab."   Winehouse explains that the origin of the song is that she was asked to go to rehab by her management company and her dad, but she responded, "Pfft, no, no, no." 

Well, she did go to rehab...for 15 minutes, according to Winehouse herself.  She subsequently ditched her management company and hired a new one, and ignored her dad's advice.

Eventually, it all caught up with her and in July 2011, she was found dead in her apartment.  

This can be a classic cautionary tale: "Don't be like Amy."  Yet, there's a better way for us to see it.  Here it is:

Self-improvement is a gift from God.

Amy denied self-improvement.  Found it embarrassing and not worth her time.  But think about this: what on earth can improve itself?  No other living thing.  Tigers don't improve hunting tactics.  Elephants don't learn to read Urdu.  Monkeys don't learn to appreciate Beethoven.  

Jesus said, "The Kingdom of God is within you."  He also said that the Kingdom is like a seed, a very tiny seed, that grows into a large tree where birds come to rest in its branches.  See, that's you, if you're a follower of Jesus.  You have a built in self-improvement machine!  

So, when you recognize that you have areas to grow (or if someone points it out-even if that is uncomfortable), see this as a great opportunity to experience transformation (or in Bible-y wording: sanctification).

For me, I have worked hard over my years to learn to manage anxiety, to be more assertive, to connect with my Father more naturally.  All of these have required years worth of book reading, practicing, counseling, talking to friends, talking to God, praying, and reflecting.  

In each of these areas, then, I have seen Jesus' words come true: birds come and rest on these branches.  That means that others have come to see me as a person that they can talk to and relate to on these and other issues.  I've had so many opportunities to encourage others to grow and look to Father for growth.

So, open yourself up to self-improvement and ask the Spirit to walk you through it.  Eventually you'll find people coming to rest in your branches.  

Can summer be fun and meaningful?

Summer.  Finally!

We all need the reset button, the chance to unwind, the chance to blow off some steam and just have fun.

But we all know what happens...it wears off.
Instead of just seeking greater thrills, let me suggest something else.

Ask this question: what might your Father want to do with your summer?

I'm going to throw out ideas, but remember, the question is what might God want for you, not necessarily what he wants for someone else.

One year I was really struck by a book I read called Desiring God.  It completely changed the way I felt about Him.  That summer, I committed to re-read it and even take notes (and I didn't even have to do it for school!  Crazy, I know!)

Could Father want you to just focus on something to develop your heart, your soul, or your spirit?

For several summers I worked at a day camp five days a week.  I really saw that God had put me in this job on "mission."  I prayed for those kids, looked for chances to talk to them about Jesus, taught them spiritually-minded songs, and mainly just tried to be a fun-loving, caring young guy in their lives.

Is there a mission God might have for you this summer?  The people you work with, your siblings, your neighbors, your friends.  Anybody could be someone for you to reach out to.  Try the dangerous prayer: "Father, help me see opportunities today, and take them."

So, have fun this summer.  However, there is a deeper fun that comes from meaning that laying at the pool can ever compare to.

Chasing a spiritual high

I've had some pretty cool "God experiences" in my life.  It's tempting to always want to have them happen again.  In fact, sometimes you think you should be living the spiritual-high feeling all the time.  I've found that this isn't real life spiritually or in any other human relationship for that matter.  The following is a blog post by a guy I really respect named Wayne Jacobsen.  I hope it gives you a new perspective like it did for me.

Life Happened Here Once

It’s an amazing moment when a butterfly hatches from her chrysalis, flexes her wings until they dry, and then takes flight discovering what it is like to be a butterfly instead of a caterpillar.  We get to enjoy this little miracle in Sara’s garden almost every year. But it never happens at the same place twice.

Sometime next month thousands of people are set to gather in a stadium in Southern California on the 110th Anniversary of the beginning of the Azusa Street Revival in hopes of gathering 100,000 people to   call down a great, last-day revival.  This is only the most recent of numerous attempts to get God to act, all driven by “words from the Lord” and interpretations of dreams in hopes that some day “stadium Christianity” will take over the world where gatherings of Christians will replace sports contests in our largest stadiums.

Everywhere I’ve gone on this trip I’ve been asked what I make of all this and if I’m involved.  I’m not. Honestly, I don’t find the prospect very engaging for a number of reasons. Jesus seemed to want us to make prayer a private matter not a public display. He seemed to indicate that praying with 100,000 people has no more power than two or three agreeing in his name.  I also find it strange that the 110th (really, not 100th?) anniversary of a past moment of God’s visitation would be significant to God in any way.  I also find a large crowd of people trying to “call down” revival seems more reminiscent of Baal’s prophets trying to call down their false god, rather than Elijah’s simple proclamation that God simply make himself known as the one, true God. (I Kings 18)

Jesus never indicated that praying in large gatherings would usher in a world-wide revival. He said that when we were loved enough by him to love others in the same way the whole world would come to know who he is. That’s where I want to invest my time and attention.

Thus I am not looking for some great revival as just another “event” that will have it’s day in the sun then fade away like all the others. In fact, I see revival happening all over the world right now.  I see spiritual hunger emerging and tens of thousands of people that I know, opening to God in a fresh way, learning to live in his love and share it with others freely.  Something amazing is already happening that is not controlled or promoted by humanity and yet is filled with the richness of the Living Jesus. I find that much more engaging.  So, no, I’m not involved nor do I have any hope that this event just won’t be another in a long line of prayer meetings, summits, and rallies that smell more of human effort than the fresh wind of the Spirit.

Of course, I could be wrong about this. God might actually be leading them and something significant will happen that day. I’ll be the first to apologize if I’m wrong, but I’ve never seen this kind of thing fulfill the promises of its organizers. It may feel spectacular while people are there, but they will go back to their homes and wonder what it was all about. This is not the way God seems to work.  And by that I am not casting aspersions on the hopes or motives of those who feel inclined to plan or attend these events. For the most part I know them to be well-intentioned people who sincerely want God to do something in our day.  But I am not hopeful that this is the means to the end that they want, or even that the revival they are looking for is very different from what he is already doing in the world to draw people to himself without named celebrities on the stage.

I don’t chase these things around any more than I hang out beside a spent chrysalis hoping another butterfly will emerge. Life happened there once and it will not do so again. When another butterfly hatches it will come from another place, at another time.

Maybe our traditions are simply hanging around old places where God worked once, hoping he will work there again rather than following him to see what he is doing now. How much energy and effort is wasted by those who hope God will do something he did once again and again in the same way and come away disappointed and disillusioned when their efforts bear little fruit?

Maybe God has moved on and life is happening somewhere else. Because, as Jesus said, “My Father is always working.”

Maybe we’re just looking in the wrong place.

Horror movies and being a Christ-follower: How do they go together?

With a brother several years older than myself, I started watching horror movies when I was quite young.  Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre; you name it.  It surprised me that, even when I got older, disturbing images from these films still were very vivid in my mind and sometimes came to me at moments when they were less than useful!

I simply decided that I didn't want this kind of stuff in my brain.  So at some point in my 20s, I stopped watching horror films and haven't looked back.

My motive was largely practical.  I don't think I fully processed through the spiritual implications of watching these movies.  For that reason, I thought it would be good to quote those who have.  Below is an article I found online that does a good job at looking at the issues that a Christian faces concerning the implications of watching horror films.

I do not have an agenda here.  I picked this one particularly because it doesn't come down fully on the "don't watch them" or the "who cares?" side.  That I believe is the freedom of the believer in Christ.  We each interact with our Savior individually and therefore can seek him for clarity that may or may not apply to others.

Here is the article from 412teens.org:

Should a Christian Watch Scary Movies/Horror Films?

Over the last hundred years, movies have moved from being a curious and magical novelty to something so ingrained in mainstream culture that to have never seen a movie is similar to having never ridden in a car or touched a computer. And over that period of time, movies have become not just a tool for mindless entertainment, but also a tool for spreading messages—both positive and negative. Healthy and unhealthy. Storytelling is a powerful tool for things deeper than just "entertainment" and often reflects some grain of truth from Romans 1:18-21 about the hearts of men.

The Point of Horror

A horror movie is, by definition, a story that produces "an intense feeling of fear, shock, or disgust." Scary stories that would fall into the horror category have always been around, tailored to their cultures of origin. Many classical fairy tales (which are just as brutal, if not more so, than a lot of today's "horror") were told to teach lessons to children, or to discourage wrongdoing.

But with people becoming more and more desensitized, something that used to be considered a nightmares standard might now be used as a cheap thrill that's tame enough for a TV commercial. As such, it is harder to shock an audience that has grown up around stylized carnage and a less solid standard of good and evil, right and wrong.

Horror tries to shock people in a variety of ways: gratuitous gore, psychological terrors (What's around the corner? Is there actually a monster in the house?), spiritual warfare, or even just jump-out-of-your-seat scenes that make the audience hit the ceiling from an adrenaline rush of fear. Often the shock is there for the shock itself—not for any grand, overarching point.

That's not to say that you can't learn anything from a horror movie, but you should still exercise discernment when watching or reading or playing anything.

Should Christians watch horror movies?

As Christians, we should be extremely aware that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). We know that very real demons are out to "steal, kill and destroy" (John 10:10). Satan and his servants are trying to trip us up at any chance they get; spiritual warfare is not a subject to be taken lightly.

Regardless of what type of decision we're making—whether it be about life or media choices—we must always listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to us through our conscience. Is He saying, "No, don't watch that"? Then don't! Are you not sure if the Holy Spirit is saying no? Then it would be safer to avoid whatever it is you're wondering about, just to be on the safe side—at least until you have a clearer answer. Nothing is worth stifling God's voice (1 Thessalonians 5:19; Ephesians 4:30)!

Secondly, have your parents told you no? Then no matter of what movies you think are okay, you are to respect and obey their decision (Ephesians 6:1-3).

How can I have discernment about horror movies?

As we grow in our faith, we should become increasingly more sensitive to sin and evil. We are supposed to be different, standing out as beacons of light in a dark, sin-filled world (1 Thessalonians 2:12). We should keep our minds on "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute" (Philippians 4:8).

That said, there are some who can still find the things listed in Philippians 4:8 in horror/scary films. There are movies that fall under the category of "horror" that show more truth and ask deeper questions than one might expect. Some horror films even come from Christian filmmakers, either using their unique view on the world to reach a different audience that may not otherwise be exposed to God's Truth or to show the reality of struggles that a lot of other Christian media won't touch. We all know that life is not always a happy and uplifting romantic comedy; sometimes darker stories are needed to portray a certain message.

In the end, you know yourself best.

For some people, they need to avoid superfluous scares because they struggle with fear enough as is;

they don't need any additional stimulant in that area. If horror and scary movies will affect you in a way that makes you go against your morals and conscience or makes it more difficult to rest in God's secure embrace or even leads you to search for a way to justify watching them, then STEP AWAY.

If you decide to give these types of films a shot, check your motives, check your heart, and if possible, do your research. Be aware that very few review websites will ever be completely accurate, and all are biased, even if slightly, one way or the other. Know your own limitations. Know your weaknesses. Ask God for guidance. Perhaps you are one of those who will find horror movies to your personal edification.

"Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you—unless indeed you fail the test?" —2 Corinthians 13:5

Feeling Hurt and finding Home Base

I'm sitting here listening to an album from 1990.  Yep, old stuff.

It's funny.  We all branch out, but when times get hard we go back to home base, where we started.

For me, my human life began in 1976, but my true life began in November of 1990 when I asked Jesus to work in my life.

I've done lots of thinking and exploring over the decades since.  I love thinking and wrestling about the deep stuff of life.  All of that has been a part of my journey with Jesus and has deepened and enriched the way I see life, see my Father, and love.

But, today, as my wife and I feel some hurts my heart went looking for something to hold onto.  So many things that I have learned are helpful, but they just didn't give me a place to rest.  But then I went back to home base.  Home base for me is: the sense of peace and exhilaration I feel about following Jesus wherever He leads in this life.  Everything else comes around that.

I think about a song called "Keep Me Running" by Randy Stonehill (a different one from the one I sing in chapel).  I love the image of running through life, wind whipping my face, following Jesus, but in reality, being propelled by His ubiquitous presence as well.


It's where it all started for me: an aimless teen with lots of passion, but nowhere to go.  Suddenly at age 14, thanks to a friend, I heard that Jesus wanted me, yes me, to live my life for him.

And all of this came back to me at age 39 when I'm feeling hurt.  Home base just gave me the perspective and the impetus to keep running, keep running, keep running...after Him.  What a dangerous, but "worth-it" adventure.

If there's some take-away here, I'd say it's to ask yourself: do you have a home base?  And if so, what is it?  Where will your mind and heart go when hurt and despair tries to wrestle your soul to the ground?  Find that home base and cling to it.

Longing to feel okay

Don't you hate that feeling?
The one where you feel like crap.
The one where you wonder why anyone would like you.
The one where you seem like such a screw up.
The one where it seems like you're not good enough for anyone.

I hate it too.
But I used to feel it a lot more often.  In fact, these days it's pretty rare for me.

Check out the following quote I heard on a podcast recently:

The moment your well-being is hinged to another person's response, you will manipulate them.

To manipulate is to try and make someone else do something by pressuring or tricking them.  Most of us wouldn't manipulate to get money, but we do when we need to feel okay.

We pressure, we threaten, we cry, we yell, we give the silent treatment, we ignore-whatever it takes to get someone's attention that we really crave.  And we crave it because we cannot feel good about ourselves without it.

When God gave the commandment: "You shall not have any other gods before me" he was not being self-absorbed.  He was being smart...for our sake.

You see, when we stake our well-being in anybody we are setting that person up as a god, as our source of meaning.  Naturally, they can never completely come through when we need it, so we then get mad and manipulate them to get what we want from them.  In the process, in the long term, we slowly deteriorate the relationship.

But when, as David said, "My soul finds rest in God alone" (Psalm 62), then we can live without manipulation, because as we learn to rest our souls in God, we are free to enjoy people without needing them to make us happy.

The Fault in our Stars...er Selves

Two years back I read The Fault in Our Stars.  The title, as I see it, really means "The Fault with

God."  It's an understandable issue, especially for the characters who are struggling to find a reason for the existence of their lives and the universe mixed with the fact that they are teens terminally ill with cancer.

I wanted to turn the question of fault, though, to ourselves.

Many of us, who grow up in church often hear phrases about The Fault in Ourselves like this:

You are a poor, miserable sinner.

Don't trust yourself because you are fallen.

Your heart is deceitful above all things.

Jesus, I want less of me, and more of you.

You are nothing, God is everything.

This seems so pious, so religious, so good, but it's also problematic.  If taken to its full course, you might as well say, I'm a pile of crap that can't do anything good, so Jesus should inhabit my body and turn me into a God-robot.

Didn't Jesus say, "My sheep know my voice" (John 10:27)  and "You don't need anyone to teach you." (1 John 2:27) and "shine like stars" (Phil. 2:15)?  This means that Jesus actually trusts His followers.  He knows that they know him, like they know anyone they love, and even have the ability to follow His heart and ways even without constant instruction.

On the other hand, yes, we must recognize our inherent faults or weaknesses.  This is beneficial in any relationship.  I have to be honest with my wife.  She knows my weaknesses.  She knows how I can get overstressed, for example, or how sometimes I avoid asking for help, when I really should.

So, I think we need a balance here.

I am not a worthless piece of sinning crap; I am an invaluable son of the living God.
While I am an invaluable son of the living God, I still need His grace to follow Him.
And yet, the more I live in the Father's affection, the more I naturally live in ways that honor Him and bless others.

And, guess what? He even trusts me.  Weird, right?  But the Father's love does that-it makes you become the person He always dreamed you could be.

Should, Want, & God

So recently I spoke in chapel about the value of worship in God's heart.  I've been asked to give a
"Why worship" chapel at the beginning of the school year for probably 5 years now.  I always struggle with the tension between: "You should sing" and "I encourage you to want to sing."

You could apply the "should"/"want" dichotomy to almost anything related to our relationship to Father.

For me, when I was younger, I was so good at doing what I "should" do that it also hardened my heart and I didn't feel close to God.

When I finally let myself experience Father's affection and felt truly loved (once I really believed I (1.) needed that love and (2.) didn't have to earn it), then I found the pleasure of "wanting" the things that my Father loved.

I guess I'd put it like this: I "should" be sweet to my wife, but if I lived my relationship to her with all "shoulds" she would know it and it would lose its real value.

What she wants and truly loves is when I "want" and take delight in her and being sweet to her.

I think this is why Paul wrote, "God LOVES a CHEERFUL giver."

Katy Perry tweets from the Bible?

Every once in a while, instead of writing my own post, I copy another one that I really liked from someone else.  I thought this was an interesting look at a celebrity, her faith (or not), and what that means for our own.  The article originally appeared here.

65 million Twitter followers saw it. Before the halftime show of the recent (and most watched) Super

Bowl, Pop Superstar Katy Perry quoted Psalm 118:24,

“Today is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Then according to her, this happened, “It’s funny, I was praying and I got a word from God and He says, ‘You got this and I got you.’ 

And then I was on top of the lion and a guy, a random guy, just looked on me with a headset that I’ve never communicated with before and he just looked me straight in the eyes and said, ‘You got this.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, this is God confirming I can do this.”

The religious critics were unleashed! Like hounds they sniffed for the heresy of her words. And filled with righteous anger they said, “How could God speak to such a sensuous and evil person?” “Of course it wasn’t God! She’s a rebellious, divorced, LGBT defender who has abandoned the one true faith.” “She’s stupid and part of the Illuminati!”

Maybe.

Maybe it was her own mind who made it up. Maybe it was the devil tricking her. Or maybe it was God. Because maybe (just maybe) He still speaks to those who are broken and afraid. Maybe God is still a father, and maybe He still likes to encourage. People will say that it is impossible for God to be nice to Katy Perry right before she was about to sing “I kissed a girl and I liked it” in front of millions of people. But if God refrained from speaking to humans based on the proximity of their next sin, trust me friend, no one would ever get to hear His voice.

Who knows? Maybe God said those things because,

His kindness leads us to repentance.

I believe the God of the Bible is interested in being the God of the people. And Jesus proved that by not setting a new religious standard but actually signing for us, a new contract of relationship. It is very clear that Jesus came for the lost. That was His mission. (Maybe we should join Him, because that includes us.)

Katy Perry still has a tattoo that reads “Jesus” on her left wrist. She got the tattoo as a constant reminder of her religious upbringing, which will always be a part of her. In 2009 she told Katie Couric “I knew I wanted this on me because no matter how much changes around me or how much I change, there’s not really an eraser for this.” She says that when she plays the guitar, “It stares right back at me. It’s like ‘remember, you came from this, and you can always go back to it.’”

Yes she can–Always come back. But the better news is that God has never left her. He’s always available, to all His children, whether they are home or they are drifting.

And if we are so sure that Katy Perry can’t hear the voice of God then we need to question the Burning Bush for the murderer Moses, or the encounter on the road to Damascus for the terrorist Saul, or the multiple times the adulterous King David entered the presence of God. You see, Scripture is full of undeserving hearers who somehow (just before or after sinning) got to hear God’s voice, and their lives were changed forever.

Long before Katy was singing about kissing girls, she used her talents as a “Christian singer.” (And you can buy her Christian album as Katy Hudson in Amazon – for more than $100 dollars!) She once told Vanity Fair that as a child, her parents, both evangelical pastors, wouldn’t read any book to her other than the Bible and refused to let her listen to non-religious music. So she questioned Christianity from an early age.

In a 2013 interview Perry said that she no longer identifies with a specific religion, but still feels that she has a connection with God. “I’m not a Buddhist, I’m not a Hindu, I’m not a Christian, but I still feel like I have a deep connection with God,” Perry said. “I pray all the time for self-control, for humility. There’s a lot of gratitude in it. Just saying ‘thank you’ sometimes is better than asking for things.”

So I’m not sure, but I want to believe God spoke to Katy. I want to believe He’s still speaking to her right now! Because that’s my hope for everyone who is lost or broken or famous or perfect, that they will hear the vibrations of love and the sounds of Salvation Himself.

Perry’s dad, Keith Hudson, is a pastor in California, and has said that he’s proud of his daughter, despite previously criticizing the messages in her music. (And that’s probably similar to what God the Father would say.)

I believe Jesus wants to share so much redemption and beauty with Katy Perry. So I pray that she would continue to remember the good seeds planted by her mom and dad (and forgive all the bad ones). But most of all, I pray that we the church would continue to focus on the plank in our eye, instead of the speck in everyone elses.

Yes, I’m always tempted to judge the ridiculous excitement we feel when someone on TV says the

word, “God”. But somehow I feel hopeful about this one. I don’t feel hopeful because I want her 65 million Twitter followers to hear about her, “Born Again Experience.” I feel hopeful because I know that God loves His daughter. I know that He’s been there when she’s ignored Him. And I know that His mercy has been new through her brokeness and shame.

Just as He has done for me. Just as He has done for you.

So let’s join sister Katy and declare with a smile,

“Today is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

Now maybe (just maybe) we will also get to hear His sweet encouraging voice.

Peace.

You disgust me, but I love you! Yay!

Imagine hearing this from someone you are dating:

Your lips are as red as wine

Your eyes sparkle with life

The flow of your hair is like a river of enchantment

You’re a little fat

You fill the room with grace when you enter

Just your presence brings joy to my heart

Out of the list, what do you most remember?

Yep, the criticism.

Do you ever feel like this in church or other Christian environments?  You're told repeatedly: Jesus loves you!  Jesus forgives you!

But inserted between those lines are these other parts:

You're despicable in his eyes because of your sin.

You're a miserable sinner.

God can't be near you when you sin because He's perfect.  His presence can't bear sin.

Your heart is deceitful above all things.

You're a wretch!

Oh, but God is wild about you...yeah, right.

It's like saying to my wife, "You're my soulmate, but you disgust me. I love you!"

Well, of course, in Christianese, we tag on, "God loves you because Jesus covers you."  So, apparently, you're still disgusting, but God threw a pretty blanket called Jesus over you.  Now that he can't really see you, He loves you.

But if "God is love" as John wrote, then surely He knows love better than we do.  Could it be that the Father can see into the depths of you and sees the true you?  

Could it be that His heart longs for the one he created?

Could it be that He is grieved by what sin has done to you?  How it has marred your true self?  Even the sin you yourself chose.

Could it be that instead of being offended by sin, that He instead moves towards that which is killing your soul, because He wants to destroy it.  Unlike the claim that God can't have sinners in His presence, we see Jesus, God in human form, going t o w a r d sinners, spending time with them, loving them, challenging them, and saying, "Follow me."

If you are in Christ, you are not a sinner anymore.  You're a saint.  You are "holy"-meaning set apart as special to Him and "dearly loved."  You're not just "loved" but "dearly," affectionately, tenderly, voraciously loved.  

And just like I love my wife regardless of her lack of perfection, your Father loves you, His beloved.  

Why can't I find happiness?

When I was a kid there were so many rusty cars on the road.  It was just normal.  Today, though, it's

really odd to see a rusty jalopy.

We live in a world where everything is new.  Old, at least in the tech world, is like what, 1 year old?

I was thinking about this sentence that Paul wrote back in the first century AD, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

It's so hard to remember that the really meaningful things and the most powerful things are really invisible.  We have so much flashy stuff and it's so hard to not get caught up in the newness of it all.

Paul, though, is writing to people who didn't have a Home Depot and therefore had homes that perpetually crumbled before them.  I wonder if it was easier for them to fix their eyes on what is unseen.  Maybe not, considering Paul wrote to them the above words.

So, you're a teen and the commercial world wants to convince you that your happiness resides in the newest whatever: iPhone, outfit from Forever21, video game, shoes.

Let Paul's lines call to your invisible self to place your vision, your hope, your desires in what is unseen.  I think you'll find that the order of the world will fall into place.

God is not a helicopter parent

When a guy marries a girl, he's all in.  There's no separation between his married life and his 'other' life.  However, as the years go by, there is a temptation to do what is called "compartmentalization."  The idea is that, in order to maintain some value, but not supreme value, towards something, in this case a relationship, you have to put it into a compartment.  That way you can ignore it at times and bring it out when you want it.

This is what happens to many people when it comes to God.  They compartmentalize.  People have their religious life and then the rest of life.

This leads to a dual world for people.

Instead, I'd recommend seeing your relationship to your Father and your life in general as one whole thing.

It's a beautiful thing when you're all in.  When I made this switch in high school, my life was never the same.  Suddenly, I had purpose, and a unity to what I was all about.

One key, though, is to not view God as a helicopter parent.

The term helicopter parent is used to describe parents who are constantly hovering over their kids, watching their every move, sticking their hands into their lives incessantly and never allowing them to make their choices.

Many of us view God this way, just as I did many years ago.  If you see God like this you will have to compartmentalize, because you can't deal with people like that 24-7.

Instead, God wants to be your companion, a friend who walks through life with you.  Jesus said, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business.  Instead I have called you friends." -John 15:15

As you develop a friendship with God, you'll find a well of strength to make tough choices, and heart that can help bear your burdens, and an encourager to enable you to dare great and good thing.

watch play listen-how does it look to others?

I spent a couple of posts looking at how to make choices as a Jesus-follower about what we watch,

play, or listen to.  There's another point that I think is worth mentioning and it is really essential to the section in Paul's letter to the Romans that I quoted in this post.

While the Father does lead each of us very individually on things like this, we have to keep in mind the needs of others.  Here's a very basic modern day example for older people.  Let's say you have no problem drinking alcohol (after you're 21).  You drink responsibly and simply enjoy it.  It only makes sense, then, when your friend, who once had a drinking problem but is now sober, comes over not to offer him a beer. 

Jesus gave us a "new commandment" and it was simply: "love one another."  In the situation above you are loving your friend by being sensitive to his weakness.  So, you restrict your freedom for his sake. 

This is essentially why I don't swear around people.  I don't personally feel that swearing in and of itself is sinful, but I know it would only hurt the people around me.  Plus, if I did swear around others they would immediately question the validity of my spiritual life.  They would be wrong to do so, but that doesn't change the fact that they would.

So, you may have freedom in some areas when it comes to video games, music, or movies, but ask the Spirit to give you sensitivity toward others.  If you have a friend over and you want to watch a horror flick, ask yourself (or ideally ask them), "Is this a good idea?"  Or just give them an option.

The same can go for video games.  Maybe you want to play one that's pretty bloody.  Offer your friend, "Wanna play this one (a violent one) or this one (a non-violent one)?"  Then they can choose with out feeling funny if they're uncomfortable saying that they don't really like violent ones.

The key in all this is love.  Don't judge the convictions one person has, but also don't feel like you have to have the same one.  Follow the Spirit and trust that you know his voice (John 10).  God promises to communicate with us, though we have to learn how to recognize it.

Does it matter what I watch, play, or listen to-Part 3

In some previous posts I began the discussion about what does a Jesus-follower do about reading, watching, listening, or playing entertainment that is questionable to some people?

Here is a story to add to that conversation.  Remember, it's my story and how the Father worked in it.  That doesn't mean it should be your story.  Just let it add to your process as you work through these issues with your Father.


So, in high school I was hardcore into heavy metal.  It was the most rebellious music at the time and I loved it's hard-hitting style and powerful guitar riffs.  AC/DC was my number one love.  I saw them in concert during The Razor's Edge tour, owned all their albums, wore their T-shirts regularly, and even bought import records from Australia. 

Along comes my freshmen year in high school when I met Jesus personally for the first time in my life.  He changed me.  I suddenly hungered to live my life following Him. 

One day, after school, I donned my Highway to Hell AC/DC shirt, not even thinking about the implications.  There was an art teacher at LW at the time that had become a spiritual mother to me.  She happened to see me in the hallways and questioned me about the shirt.

"But it's the only one with Bon Scott, the original singer on it!" I replied.

She said back simply, "Shouldn't what's on the outside of you reflect what's on the inside?"

That phrase lingered in me and I began to question my musical choices.  I feel like the Spirit was challenging me to stop listening to secular (non-Christian) music.  I realized that music had a profound impact on me, my thinking, and my moods.  I wanted to just feed my spirit with music that would build up my newfound relationship to the Father.

So, I trashed, literally, all my AC/DC stuff.  Then I explored, for the first time ever, the world of Christian music and found stuff I really loved. 

Here's where I went wrong, though.  I began to argue with others that they too should stop listening

to secular music.  I got into many arguments about this. 

At the time, I did not recognize that the Father's directions for me, were not necessarily his directions for everyone else (like Romans 14 talks about). 

Over time, too, I realized that I could listen to some secular music without it affecting me negatively like it once did.  That came several years later.  So, God was working on something in my life and when He was done, He moved on.

Here's what I learned:
1. You have to be honest with yourself about how your entertainment choices influence you.  Put aside the excuses and face it.  Really think about it.  The answer may be: violent video games really don't make me act or think any differently at all.  Or it may be: violent video games actually churn up aggression in me and I find myself taking it out on my siblings.

Few of us what to be honest about the fact that stuff affects us.  But when you can get to that level of transparency, look and ask your Father about it.  Let Him have some time to communicate with you about what's best.

2. Accept what God is challenging you to as a part of  his process of growing you.  He wants the best for you and you have to trust his prescription.  Maybe He's encouraging you to stop doing something, not because it's bad in and of itself, but because it's just not good for your spirit right now.  On the other hand, maybe His direction is not to ditch this or that, but to add in somethings in your life that will build up your relationship to God.

3. Realize that certain limitations may only be for a season.  Films with sex scenes were not good for me for a long time.  I just didn't want to "go there" mentally.  Now, as a happily married man, those scenes are not bothersome to my wife and me.  We can recognize what's good and bad, just like we can when we read about sex or rape in the Bible, and it doesn't influence us negatively.  As a single guy, though, I needed to be much more careful.

4. Don't take your convictions and assume they are for everybody else.  He's their Shepherd too and they have to listen to His voice, not yours.

5. Trust me, you can live without somethings that you are convinced you couldn't never part with.  If your Father is really calling you to make a sacrifice, He will give you satisfaction greater than what that game, music, or movie could ever provide.  Trust Him enough to believe this.

Does it matter what I watch, play, or listen to? Part 2

I knew a guy in high school that was an avid guitar player like myself.  One day I had my guitar

sitting around at play practice and he asked if he could play it.  He wanted to show me that he had learned the song "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC. 

I don't recall how I got out of it, but I did not want him to play that 'bad' song on my guitar.  Something in me thought it would contaminate my instrument or something.  I look back on it now and realize it was a bit silly.

Back in the first century early Christians had a somewhat similar dilemma.  Most people around them were pagans.  They worshipped numerous gods.  One way they did this was to sacrifice animals to them.  Well, that left a lot of meat, so, apparently, butchers would chop up the animal and sell the meat at the market. 

The trouble is that some followers of Christ were a little bothered by this.  They didn't want to eat meat that had previously been sacrificed to some false god or even a demon.  Some went as far to say that it was better to only eat vegetables in order to not get mixed up with this 'defiled' practice.

As we're considering how a Christ-follower can relate to various forms of entertainment, watch how Paul dealt with the meat issue in Romans 14.  It's clear that he's addressing a group of believers who strongly disagree with each other on this topic.  I'll follow up in the next post with how this can apply to video games, movies, music, and so forth.

"Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

^"For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.

⁵ Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.

^6-9 What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It’s God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.

^10-12 So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:

“As I live and breathe,” God says,

    “every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
    that I and only I am God.”

So tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

^13-14 Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

^15-16 If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don’t eat, you’re no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? Don’t you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!

^17-18 God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.

^19-21 So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you? I said it before and I’ll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don’t eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.

^22-23 Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.